You know what, I should be living my life without worrying about what I am to become. Just enjoy myself and surroundings in my own way, and let life come to me. That is what I should do, and that is what I need to do. That will be my plan from here on out, to learn to just enjoy life. This sounds so ridiculously optimistic and childish, but worrying so much is not getting me anywhere in life so far, so what is there left to conclude? I don't want to act like or try to fit in with the outgoing Madrigals and students in my classes, I will just be me, and stay like that. It is a very simplistic life style, yet so complicated to accomplish when you have spent all your life worrying. I realized tofay that I absolutely despise politics, and am not too fond of politicians either.
I need to just trust God with my life.... Trust that he will give me the life that I have always dreamed of, but of course, it will be a life like others in a way, as it will still have its ups and downs and difficult times.